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As much as we wish it weren’t true, sadness and Christmas go hand in hand. Last week I was listening to a song called Emmanuel by The Liturgists and Jason Morant. I listened while I moved from task to task around the house making beds, pulling laundry out of the washer and into the dryer. At one point while listening to the words of the song, I had to stop and lean against the wall. I wept there. Since that moment I’ve deemed this tune my favourite Christmas song for 2021. And there is a reason. It’s a sad song. And quite frankly, its been kind of a sad year. The haunting lyrics are deeply broken-hearted as they question where God is. If Emmanuel - God with us - came, where is He now? We can answer that question theologically all day. He's at the right hand of God and He's mediating on our behalf and holding all things together. Which is all true and good. But what about when everything seems like it's falling apart. Where is He? Doesn't He feel far away? Listening to sad Christmas songs that ask the why and where questions help my soul. They don’t make me like Christmas any less. I love Christmas. And the sadness I feel doesn't change that. If anything it hightens my love even more. But loving it doesn’t mean I don’t feel the very real pain around it. When so many traditions of the season are centered around community and family, we are bound to feel disappointed. Because people are disappointing. Relationships are strenuous and complicated. Past hurts bubble to the surface when looming gatherings approach. And what about all the loneliness for those without gatherings. Not to mention the ache we feel as we miss passed loved ones. The gaping hole of their presence for yet another holiday is a burden rarely unfelt as the tree is erected and plans are made. Life is deeply upsetting a lot of the time. Especially of late. I can't tell you how many people I know are struggling with family tensions from a year of loyalty to opinion above relationship. How do we not feel the sadness? It’s appropriate that we do. The impulse to stuff it or ignore it or wait for the holidays to be over to deal with it must be rejected. Because this is what Christmas is for. To celebrate a holy birth in the middle of the dread. Feel the pain and work through it with the story of Christ in hand. Recognize that the nature of His incarnation was one of difficulty. In fact His ultimate path would lead to His early death. The story of Christ is one of pain. He was dropped from Heaven into political and socio-economic strife. His life and death, and even resurrection was riddled with relational trouble. He watched loved ones die and people fall from the truth. He felt the scourge of hate from His community. He knew loss and grief and the weight of people's unbelief. And He did it all holding anguish and hope perfectly together. If there is any lie about the human journey it is that we have to feel one thing at a time. But we don’t. We can lament and be grateful. We can have joy and also experience grief. We can feel confused about our hardship along side having trust in the larger purpose of it all. We can hold both in tandem and to their fullest extent without fear of waywardness. This is why I am a firm believer in doing all the Christmasy things when this time of year comes along. Because I believe it is possible to weep to a sad song and then laugh at a silly holiday movie, all in the same day. In fact I need to do both. I need all the pomp and circumstance of the season to balance out the sadness. I need the lights and decoration and gifts and good food and music to remind me that we are people of hope and celebration. I need it to remind me that although we endure much hardship and loss throughout the year, we can end it with good news. It is, after all, this time of year when a dark world reaches desperately for the light. They need to be apart of it because life is hard and joy is compelling. In fact its so gripping non-christians will even belt out songs that profess “Christ is the Lord, then ever! ever praise we! His pow'r and glory, evermore proclaim!” Which means if there is a willingness from the world to hop on board the light train, the Lord’s people ought to be the captains. Yes, we feel the sadness and weight of many woes. It sits right there in our hearts never leaving us. But our achy hearts remind us of the hope that is coming. All the deep longing for a better world is what carries us to the consummation of all things. To Christs second Advent splendour. All the grief from a year fraught with relational tension, disagreement and ugliness. With death and sickness, uncertainty and untruths. With all of that, the light of the world bursts forth and calls us to see it. And although we see and feel the darkness, now there is also light.

The floods have lifted up, O Lord, The floods have lifted up their voice, The floods lift up their pounding waves. Psalm 93:3 Last week. The rains came loud and fierce and brought flood waters to our doorstep. For many, the stream never knocked but burst inside uninvited. The rains brought waves into barns and basements and living rooms. Sinking highways, railways and dirt roads. The waters lifted pavement and loosened foundations until they crumbled down mountain sides. Cattle and poultry succumbed to the deluge around them. So did abandoned vehicles and farming machinery. A 24 hour downpour gave birth to a torrent of ruin. No human hand could have stopped it. The surge too great to control. Hardly a concern and not a twinkle in our eye just a day before. Far out of our ability and supremacy to command it's ceasing. And even after much heroic work, many animals saved and amazing community care for the displaced - A city still sunk in a river of sludge. In the cool of the morning after the storm, when the clouds parted and the blue of the sky proved to still exist, we saw in all its entirety what lay ahead. A rebuild too large to comprehend. And a question that struck fear into many. How does a city get food and supply when all it's roads and railways have been cut off? Oh how the human heart is prone to panic. The futility of our systems laid bare in front of our eyes. Some submerged themselves in the muck bringing livestock to safety. Other's doom scrolled projections of further damage alongside stories of Good Samaritan courageousness and bravery. Our sense of security broke wide-open. But that reality rubbed against an overflowing gratefulness for helicopters and emergency workers and so much more. Up and down. Giving us whiplash. Like being on a raft plunged into rushing waters, pulling hard left and right, threatening to topple or submerge - our collective spirits worked hard to stay afloat. To find some grip of hope. Some resolve for the work ahead. And preparation for whatever may come next. We rallied. Filled sandbags, brought clothes and food to shelters and organized help for those in need. Then watched the news with furrowed brow. And we prayed. Oh to hear the collective prayers. The cries for the Lord's help. How loud those calls would have been as they echoed into the heavens. How the whispers of grief and shouts of frustration brought His ear low to us. Oh how His eyes watched. Knowing all that would take place in every minute of those showering days. Nothing was a surprise to the Lord. And when we called on Him to hold off the forecast of even more rain just long enough for repairs to be made and preparations to be planned. He heard and He answered. After the storm - the Lord is mightier still. He sits above the rain-filled clouds and calls each one to fall. No one care's more about this earth than the One who created it. And each drop that falls today is an admonishment for His people to defile our land no longer. It's a reminder of who holds all things together. Because it is not us. As our futile hands fumble to fix the mess, we are in His capable clutch. Take heart, all who despair the weary swamp. With every new storm, and every new squall - the waters remain His footstool. And dominion is His forever. Mightier than the thunders of many waters, mightier than the waves of the sea, the Lord on high is mighty! Psalm 93:4

Theres a lot of discussion about end times these days among Christians and it's pretty obvious why. It’s hard not to watch the news and wonder if we are indeed living in the last days. Which begs the question, will Christ return soon? And, if so, what will that look like and what are we watching for? The Bible speaks of these questions, and there’s been much exposition written on the topic. Opinions tend to run hot when the conversation comes up, especially in these polarizing days. The end times have been the source of earnestly written christian books and poorly acted films. And every year that a new technology or medical break-through is invented like micro chips or vaccines, questions rise about the mark of the beast. Revelation 13:16-17 is a place many Christians put their stake in as one of the main telltale signs of the end. “Also it causes all, both small and great, both rich and poor, both free and slave, to be marked on the right hand or the forehead, so that no one can buy or sell unless he has the mark, that is, the name of the beast of the number of its name.” John, who received this revelation is talking about a distinctive marker of how the world will respond to the end of all things as we know it. This is apocalyptic prophetic literature given to us to help us understand future realities of Christ’s return and the cosmic war between God and evil. The mark of the beast is clearly an evil mark, symbolizing satan’s dominion over human-kind. No one would argue with that. However what will that mark be? Is the inspired Words we read in Revelation meant to lead us into wild theories or fear of cultural traps? One thing we have to recognize about Revelation first and foremost is that it is a book detailing future events with heavy symbolism. And a lot of the symbolism relates back to Old Testament Jewish symbolism. Reading Revelation with that helpful lens will make interpretation so much clearer. For example in chapter 13 of Revelation we see the first beast rising; giving foresight to a future opponent of Christ in the days to come. It’s important to note that this beast resembles the four beasts that appeared to Daniel in a vision (Daniel 7:1-8). Which means in order to make sense of Revelation we must go to Daniel for help. This is how Scriptures interprets Scripture and elluminates the Word for us. The book of Revelation goes on to make more startling claims about the end times. In verse 11 of chapter 13, the second beast is revealed and he’s described as being a liar. Often referred to as a false prophet with great influence. This beast even has “signs” or miracles that persuade earth-dwellers into submission. And people will ultimately find themselves branded by a marker, one that express’ their allegiance to this beast. A mark that the text specifically says will be imprinted on our forehead and right hand. This kind of specificity requires some digging. Now would be a good time to consult the Old Testament again as an aid for understanding. In Deuteronomy 6, (verses 4-9) Moses is given the greatest commandment that he is tasked by God to share with His chosen people. And it is called the Shema, which became a daily prayer for the Jewish people. Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. Every ancient Jew would have had this verse memorized and on the tip of their tongue regularly. And it is with this Jewish lens that we ought to read all of Scripture. Most importantly Revelation. Did you notice where the people of God were told to bind this beautiful truth about God's Lordship? The hand and the forehead. Did this mean they needed to somehow paste these words on their hand or tattoo them on their forehead? Is this a literal command? Of course not. Hebrews at the time would have known exactly what this means. The frontlets between your eyes (or forehead) was widely understood to mean your Mind. Meaning, what God’s people think in regards to who God is, matters. Binding on your hand was known to mean their actions and how their behaviour reveal what they believed about God. In thought and deed they were to love the Lord their God, and this was a sign of true belief and allegiance to the Lord. This distinction is of infinite importance when we begin to read the book of Revelation. With this understanding, what we see now is that the mark of the beast in Revelation is more likely to look like people living an evil life in thought and deed. They will have put aside the great Shema, for the folly of the beast. People of every wage bracket, political ideology and socio-economic category will fall prey to a debased mind and sinful action. This will be a sign unto us that the beast is at work. This will be the revealing marker of whether someone loves God or prefers the beast. As tempting as it is for us to feel as though our role as Christians in this confused world is to be some kind of beast hunter, we must pause and use better judgement. In 2008 when President Barrack Obama was made president, many Christians called him the anti-christ. Much of the same language was used when President Donald Trump was made president in 2016. When the debit card started to become widely used in the 90's there were assumptions made about it being the mark of the beast. And certainly we have seen many theories in the last couple years about medical technologies being of Satan. Every generation has a propensity to believe their living in the last times. And as Christians we have a long and strong history of declaring and sharing who we believe the anti-Christ is and what is certain to be his evil mark. And all of it seems to be shrouded in fear. Not Godly fear, but panicked "we don't have control" fear. I do believe the incentive to this kind of christian fear is obedience. However it's a lousy long-term motivator. All of this behaviour reveals our view of God. It's like we think He's a trickster. Like His divine plan is to trick His followers into using a technology that ends up being the mark of the beast. And that is a pretty low view of God. Even though we are called to stay alert for the Lords return (Matthew 24), the application is meant to encourage us not to grow stagnant or "fall asleep" to the call of God, which is to fulfill the great commission. It does not mean we ought to be anxious internet sleuths, spreading and sharing every political or ideological speculation about end times all over social media. This is not discernment. The Shema leaves little room for such theories. If we really want to address the mark of the beast we have to start with ourselves. Does the Shema live inside me? Do I know who God is? What is my temperature of affection for Christ? Is it ever present in my heart, soul and strength? Are my actions to my friends and even enemies a reflection of this unbridled love? If someone were to peek through my emails and text messages and comment sections, what would they believe about the God I follow? Jesus reaffirmed the Shema in Matthew 22:34-40, giving relevant emphasis to this command as still being priority for Christians today. This command is all-encompassing and requires total devotion to God, which includes obedience to the rest of the commandments. Not out of panicky fear, but out of heart, soul and mind allegiance to Christ. And loving your neighbour as yourself (which Jesus adds in 22:39), is the embodiment of frontlets and hand love for the Lord. How we treat our neighbor is the outward proof of a love for God. Right now a great reckoning is taking place for christians. The truth of allegiance is being revealed in terrible ways. Some have discovered their hope has been more shackled to a political party than in Christ. Others have been exposed of having an online or hidden lifestyle that is far from the example and teachings of Christ. All of us have shown true colours about our lack of grace in the last couple years in one way or the other. Are we in the last days? Maybe so. We will never know the day and moment of its finality (Matthew 24:36), but we should always take notice of what’s happening inside us personally. The mark of the beast has less to do with technology and political leaders and more to do with us. From Genesis to Revelation, God has always been after our heart. And He remains consistent. Love the Lord, love your neighbor, live the great commission and be at peace about what the future holds. Then our mark will be the Shema and the beast will claim no part of us.

Do you feel like you’re swimming in sludge? Or is it just me. Being part of the Bride of Christ has been challenging of late. I know this is a topic I write about a lot. And that's obviously because I care about it a lot. So you can expect me to bang this drum a little longer. Feel free to cover your ears and close your computer. Or perhaps engage this with me. The modern church has taken a beating in recent years. And by the church I’m talking about the western American/Canadian church. Because let’s be real, the global church takes actual beatings every single day with real persecution and threats of real persecution. While us soft folks in the west fight about how comfy our pews are and how masks during a pandemic make us feel less free. For a very long time the church in the west has experienced nothing but affluence and freedom. That is until the pandemic caused us to worship in a new way. And then most of us lost our minds. During quarantine and after, Christians have demonstrated some of the worst examples of trust in the Lord. And perhaps you have noticed - like I have - that a moral-veil was lifted within the pressure cooker walls of the pandemic. While all our blood pressure was high and our good critical thinking low. In fact the time we’re still in now. In the midst of this season we’ve watched and heard stories of great Christian moral failure both current and in recent history. And it has only added more spiritual heartache to these already tense times. The testimony of the western church has taken a beating. Our faith has proven to be pretty flimsy. Here in Canada the discoveries of Indigenous children's bodies outside old residential schools rocked the country. It was horrific and awful and put a red target on every church in our Bible belt town. And how could it not? We can blame the government and other denominations all we want. But those institutions stole children from their families and then sent them to learn about Christ. And because of that, the testimony of the Canadian church is now linked to that atrocity and mishandling of the gospel. In January we watched in horror when people with Jesus and confederate flags stormed the capitol building in America. They broke down windows and doors and then prayed when they got in. It was embarrassing. Seeing misled Christians fight for worldly power through anger and force was not just a small stain on an otherwise clean record of holiness for the western church. But yet another blotch of privileged hypocrisy. And for anyone on the fence about whether or not they should follow Jesus, this was the final nail in the coffin. Splashed all over the news, it was the most pertinent testimony of the American gospel. We also heard about the disgusting moral failings of a dearly loved apologist, Ravi Zacharias. It shocked and disturbed us. As it should. I personally felt duped and stupid for platforming a wolf. Those he debated were jointly vindicated of their godless beliefs as the revelation made for a thunderclap final win to the other side of his debates. That is the testimony of Jesus through the hypocritical life of Ravi now. But those aren't the only stories of failure we’ve endured. In recent months Christianity Today has put out the podcast, the Rise and Fall of Mars Hill, and those of us who are listening (which is a whole lot of us) are being confronted with the very real truth that narcissistic leaders are running rampant in our church’s. Spiritual abuse has been our strategy and arrogance the proof of “vision”. Many have spoken out, and few have listened. Many more leaders will fall, but not before more spiritual damage has been done. Mark Driscoll is not some anomaly, he’s just the one who got a podcast dedicated to him. This is the testimony of the modern protestant church. All of this has pushed to the forefront an #exvangelical movement like no other. Deconstruction of the faith abounds, as the hypocrisy of it all leaves an after-taste too much to bare for young people in the faith. And can you blame them? The church that should be known by our love, is now known more by our hate. Our arrogance. Pride. Sin! Is this mic on?! We have a problem here! Can we finally do some soul-searching? Because something has gone terribly wrong. I’m no historian, but it’s obvious that over the last 100 plus years, in our affluent freedom we’ve believed some western anti-gospel lies about our own deeply eastern-rooted faith. More individuality, less community. More self-adjulation, less honor. More personal rights and freedoms, less self-sacrifice. It’s not just the prosperity gospel folks who’ve believed an American-dream Christianity. It’s all of us. We've democratized our faith and mingled Christ with an individualist Western ideology. This marriage has spat out a sanctimonious over-politicized Christianity, with many church leaders leading the way, and failing. The much more astute Nancy Pearcey speaks about it in her book Total Truth. She writes, In the second Awakening [19th century United States ], church authority itself was denounced as "tyranny". Many began to argue that the American Revolution was not yet complete. We have cast off civil tyranny, they said, now we need to cast off ecclesiastical tyranny. The priesthood of all believers was taken to mean religion of the people, by the people, and for the people. This assault on authority and learning was part of a general "democratization of truth", says historian Gordon Wood. The concept of "unalienable rights" was transferred from the political realm to the realm of ideas, where it meant the right of ordinary people to think as they pleased without deferring to the judgements of the well-bred and well-educated. As a result, "Americans of the Republic experienced an epistemological crisis as severe as any in their history," Wood writes. Truth itself seemed to be shattered, and everything was left to the individual - the voter, the buyer, the religious believer - to make decisions strictly on his own. Unfortunately, many evangelicals were caught up in the same "epistemologist crisis." They absorbed the American ethos, and in some respects even led the way to an anti-authoritarian, anti-historical, individualistic out-look - which, as we will see, had devastating consequences for the Christian mind. The consequences of marrying the American spirit with the Christian faith as spoken above has no doubt led to the current individualistic spirituality we find today. It leads to a people platforming brash and bold characters whose perceived strength makes them unwilling to apologize when they fail. And it leads to a church that is defined by a collection of individuals who stubbornly reject wisdom from the educated and rebuke from their leaders. Because the answer to the problem of failed leaders is not to abolish all leadership. It is not to ignore the authorities that have been laid out for us in Scripture ( Romans 13:1, Hebrews 13:17). We ought to uphold the experienced, educated and humble in their field. Honor them well and seek to live counter-culturally in community with others. All so that we don't create superstar leaders out of people we don't know. Allowing their voices to carry more weight than the flesh and blood leaders and friends around us. Since the third day in the garden, God has been calling His people to repent. Almost every single prophet in the Old Testament was sent to call the people of God to repent. Not the pagans - but Israel. Paul's entire ministry was setting up churches and then regularly reminding them to stay faithful to the gospel. And it was Paul who said, What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside (1 Cor 5:12-13). Yet this is what we've been guilty of doing for decades. It has never been the job of christians to judge outsiders and its also never been our job to grip desperately for societal control and power as we've seen displayed in the church. As Russell Moore says in his book, The Courage To Stand, We clamor for the kind of power the world can recognize, while ironing the very power of God that comes through Christ and him crucified. We trade away the Sermon on the Mount for influence and access because the Sermon on the Mount seems weak and surrendering. And through it all we demonstrate what we really care about - the same power and self-leverage this age values. We think if only we were more aggressive and dominant and powerful then we might not be victimized. We might win, like Thor, instead of lose, like Jesus. We’ve always wanted to fight power in order to get power. It’s what the people of God wanted when the incarnation took place. Except Jesus arrived on a donkey and died on a cross. And His victorious resurrection was to give us life, so that we may bring life to others. Serve the lowly, share the good news and love our enemy. His ways have never been our ways. With a faith that places moral expectation on us, we ought to expect tough scrutiny from the world around us. And when we (as the church) fail - which we most certainly will do - or when histories of harmful pasts come to light - the response ought never be an intellectual defence or excuse. It must always be as the great John Newton said, “I am a great sinner, and Christ is a great Saviour” - we have fallen short of the glory of God. Full stop. 1 John 1:7-9, But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Too long we’ve been pointing our finger at the world and not addressing the sin within. But church, it’s table-turning season (Matthew 21:12-17)! And we should welcome it with remorse. Wear it like the red letter A that it is. We have been an adulterous bride, cheating on the One we claim to love and fear. We cheat with politics and money and clout and bigger auditoriums. The church - a den of robbers. We’re no better than the Pharisees. Let the tables turn wildly in our faces. Perhaps by God's mercy, what’s happening now is the Holy Spirit has sent a spiritual wind of reckoning to our doorstep. And we will either kill our sacred cows and lament or fight hard to continue life as usual. Perhaps this onslaught of spiritual failure is being uncovered, so that we will open our eyes to it and see our own spiritual failure. Our own negligence to keep 2 Timothy 2:23-24, Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. May we swim in the sludgy mess we created and drop our pride, our rocks, our excuses and receive the criticism we deserve, even from the outsiders we don’t like. Then humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God and be more like Him - Gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love (Psalm 145:8). Let us be willing to die on a politically charged cross, sacrificing all our individual rights so that all may live.

Let me be neither. Many years ago I lived in a city where there was a thriving community of Indo-Canadian folks. One year I was at a summertime festival with crowds of people. My son was still in a stroller and we were wandering around the grounds after accidentally loosing my husband. I was also pregnant with my daughter and the heat was starting to take its toll. Fortunately I was rescued by a food truck open for business. My son and I would be able to get a cold drink. There was a long line - typical of festivals such as this - but we were prepared to wait. The line moved forward rather quickly until it reached a customer that I could tell was having some trouble expressing what she'd like to order. She was small and older, maybe in her 70's. She had on a colorful sari that had sparkly beads stitched through it. I noticed how the sweltering sun reflected from the beads and made her look like a queen. However I could tell these details were not being noticed by the man in front of me. As time went on and it was clear this woman struggled to speak English, I watched the man in front of me rapidly loose patience. His shoulders became red and tense. He balled up his fists and started shouting from the back "Can you hurry up?". The tension built as he rocked back and forth, huffing loudly his displeasure. Under his breath were words filled with fire, "and go back to your country while you're at it". I stood stunned, heart racing. My tired and sweaty toddler was more composed than this grown man. That day impressed something on me that I've never forgotten. Humans are fickle and we sure prefer our own kind. It wouldn't be the last time I would hear something horribly racist come out of the mouths of strangers and friends alike living in that place. And I would put that knowledge in my back-pocket, not liking it, but not hating it either. I don't know why I haven't written much about the year we've had when it comes to racial tensions. I sure have a lot of feelings about it. I know I made a conscious decision early on last year to listen more than talk. I've read a good deal about the subject. Both about the history as well as personal stories of pain and grief. Which is something I have encouraged others to do. I do believe this posture has served me well. But before I make myself sound greater than I am, let me admit that this has been a journey for me. As I said, I didn't hate the racism when I saw it back then. And I should have. Being in a certain camp theologically and politically as an adult has limited my knowledge on the importance of the subject and often times has persuaded me to feel as though the issue is over-blown, over-politized and ill-advised. The solutions "they" are requesting are no solutions at all and therefore we ought to argue about that over and above seeking reconciliation and/or taking responsibility. I've been slower than I should have been. And I've also seen the harm bandwagon allyship does. Something I've probably been guilty of in the past. The slippery nature of its forced interest and the message it shows that its only something worth fighting for when there is the comfort of a crowd shouting the same thing. Will I still advocate when its just me and my friend in my living room? Am I ok with the uncomfort that it brings? Social media allyship is easy. But will I still care about it when I'm standing behind it in a long line-up? And, of course, I also don't want to cover my ears and act like its not happening. I don't want to be the girl who puts those experiences in my back pocket as though they are forgettable and don't require my full attention. Here's why. I am a pro-life person. Sometimes when we use that language people think we're getting political and we're not focusing on the gospel, which is our main requirement as Christians. But the problem with that is, of course, abortion is a gospel issue. All human life is created in the image of God and therefore worthy of dignity and respect no matter how small they are or unwanted they may seem. And I do believe we ought to care for women who are struggling with an unwelcome pregnancy and care for the child within. Both humans deserve our utter devotion. Anyone in that position requires my full attention. I am also an all-of-life person. From womb to tomb, of every race and tribe, every walk of life, gender and religion. All humans created in the image of God are worthy of my attention to feed, clothe and care. No ifs, ands, or buts. Whether I agree or disagree with their ideologies or way of life. Because life is a gospel issue. The gospel storyline is literally this: The almighty God of the universe created mankind male and female in his own image. And when mankind actively sinned against God, He went about seeking reconciliation with us at the fullest and highest cost to Himself. And He did so, not after we proved we were worth it or after we told Him we agreed with Him on everything. But in fact while we were still in rebellion against Him. And He gave us new life. As Christians, we are life people. So this is why racial issues are not political. But gospel. And when something happens in society that brings this issue into the forefront of the worlds attention we ought not stick our heads in the sand or fight about whether or not the media scrutiny is warranted. We ought to stand on the side of life mattering. Not so that we get some kind of social gold star. But because God cares for the ones He's created. And so shall we. When I moved to a new city many years ago and we settled into our new home we began planning to put our kids in school. This opened up a lot of dialogue around what elementary school they would go to. Our catchment put them in a school that was next to indigenous reserve-land. A non-issue we thought. And yet, I can't tell you how many people advised us not to put our kids in that school with their only reason being the land next to it. "Here we go again," I thought. I also put that experience in my back pocket. This time, hating it. Then came last year. When everything blew up. And we saw orthodox Christians telling story after story of injustice. The weeping, grief and trauma was palpable as thousands of people mourned and shared the weariness of what they experience regularly in America. Nevertheless, I watched the conversation in church circles become more about whether or not there was any good reason for the hubbub. And I really couldn't believe it. How could this be? How could people who believe in the depravity of man not believe that it could manifest itself in prejudice and favouritism in the lives of all people, both powerful and not? John Piper says this in a Desiring God article entitled Structural Racism. In such a world, it would be inconceivable and utterly astonishing if there were no such thing as structural racism. In this world of sin and Satan and a decadent world system, it is incomprehensible that one sin would be privileged to escape systemic expression. This is true not only for statistical reasons, but for organic ones. Racism is the spoiled child of pride. And structural racism is the sturdy child of structural pride. They are organically connected. Pride gives birth to racism. Structural pride gives birth to structural racism. It sure would be nice to live in a society where certain sins just kinda went out of style or were fully "taken care of". But that's not the fickle world we live in. And arguing about its relevance is a luxury us white folks can no longer afford indulging in. The data is in. Racism isn't a problem of the past. It's one of today. And it will continue to be, this side of heaven. There is no debate that we sinful humans prefer our own kind. The kind that speaks our language. The local and global stories of racism are too many for the hubbub to not be justified as some still believe. We are so fortunate to have a long-suffering God. A God who has watched us fail this issue year after year after year after year as we manufacture short-term interest or we cover our ears "la la la" and look to pundits that stroke our heads and tell us "they're overreacting". So here is my plea to the ones who read this and are unsure of how to respond to the racial conversations being had. Listen and lament. Weep with those who weep and seek to understand the pain. Choose compassion even when you don't understand and advocate for the good of all, just as Christ is advocating for you right now in heaven. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Romans 8:34 Be people of the gospel. People of life. You may be concerned about marxism sneaking into the church. And that's fine. Stay vigilant against it. There are many ideologies of this world that should not enter the church. Take what's good and leave behind the bad. And also take note of what Justin Giboney says about this, Marxism is extremely flawed. But when it comes to the Black experience, American racism has already done much of the harm some fear from Marxism & more. It has: - Undermined the family - Undermined the Church - Defiled women - Centered identity - Robbed wealth - Enraged, murder, etc The exact same things could be said of the indigenous community in Canada. Racism and marxism are dangerous. Let's be against both. Let's not play the politics game about it. I wish I could say I don't have many back pocket first-hand experiences with racism. I wish I could say I haven't heard racism stories from friends of color either. But that is not the reality. And I can't live denying reality or pretending to care. So I must get to work raising my kids to love all people and make efforts to find justice for the unborn and those suffering racism. Life matters. After all, I know what lies ahead in the hereafter when everything is made right. After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. And they cried out in a loud voice: “Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb.” Revelation 7:9-10 Let your hearts ache for this kingdom to come. And when the world shouts to end racism, simply agree and answer Yes!

Here we are in a new year and just as expected, not much has changed in terms of society at large getting better or even being different. As with every year, days turn into nights and the news cycle turns with it. We wake up and make choices moment by moment on how we’ll spend our time and what will take up space in our minds. Church, can I be real with you? I’m concerned about us. And I can’t help wondering, have we lost our minds? I don’t mean this in a flippant way. I truly mean every word of this pithy question. Have we lost control of what we're filling our minds with and by doing so lost our minds all together. We left a divisive year and walked right into a new one. And I can imagine for as long as the Lord tarry’s it will be the same with every new year ahead. If there is anything the human race is excellent at, it’s dividing and fighting about just about anything. And christians are not immune to this inclination, unfortunately. Yet, we don't have to engage with the world this way. If we want to, we can do better. When we seek the Scriptures we see examples of God’s people respond to all kinds of societal and personal trouble in all kinds of ways. Some are good, and others are bad. As we discern our times, we must look and ask, where are the Godly examples among us? Where are the Abrahams? The people of God who diligently intercede for their evil city. (Genesis 18:22-24) Where are the Moses’s? The faithful saints who call on the Lord to spare the people of God from their own whiny, complacent wandering. (Exodus 32:11,14) Where are the Naomi’s? The devout who pray not for their own care and safety but for the care and safety of others. (Ruth 1:8-9) Where are the Jobs? Who in the midst of the worst kind of loss, lament with godly understanding of who is in control of all things at all times. (Job 42) Where are the Anna’s? Who expect nothing from anybody but give themselves to the worship and prayer of the Lord all the days of their lives. (Luke 2:36-38) Where are the Pauls? The obediently strong who pray and worship even while locked up in jail for their faith in Christ. (Acts 16:16-40) And most importantly...with tears in my eyes, oh church, where are the Jesus’s? The ones who will utter “forgive them father, for they know not what they do” when evil men do evil things and ignorantly call it good. (Luke 23:34) I know they are out there. I’ve seen their quiet faithful acts of obedience. Their humble activity for the Kingdom. The compassion and peace they bring to others without desiring an audience or applause. Yet, I’m afraid many of us in the church have become a bunch of Jonah’s. (Jonah 4) I know, at times, I have. It's so easy to become prophets of God with a message of judgment only for people we’ve decided are worthy of mockery and scorn. Never looking inward at our own sin, only seeing the things we despise in others. Never choosing compassion and mercy, only focusing on being right about the minutia of our times. And then unloading that wrath towards each other in passive and aggressive ways for the sake of what good? I guess, our own? Heaven, help us. What will we do? We can blame social media, politics or bias news sources all day long. But thats only a problem if we've handed our minds over to these ideologies and spaces for moulding. And in doing so, made them our God. So let’s take responsibility for ourselves for a moment because media is not the problem. We are. Look inside yourself and ask some diagnostic questions: who have I given my mind to? Where do I go to seek truth when world trouble hits? What has become my God? None of the faithful examples I gave above desired to see anyone fall. The desire was to see many come to the Lord. It was to preserve the sinful, not so they can continue sinning but so they can live long enough to hear the good news and be saved. It was compassion that drove them, selflessness that preserved them and faith that secured them. They were indeed imperfect. Just like me. And I, just like you, have a chance to shake the dust off our past failures to be like these examples. And start a new year with a renewed dedication to put off our Jonah ways and put on the ways of Christ. To indeed not be conformed to the patterns of this world. To not conform to the divisive othering, de-humanizing and bitter us-against-them rhetorics every side of the aisle is guilty of espousing. And instead, choose to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2)! Which is something that only happens when we focus our minds less and less on the “sides” of our society and more and more on the redeeming Words of the Lord and our allegiance to the church. I fear we’ve entered another dark age. The first dark ages were marked by christians not having any access to the Word of God. Now, perhaps a new dark age is emerging. One that may be marked by Christians not having any interest in the Word of God. A culture of christians who identify more with their political views than with the bride of Christ. I hope I'm wrong. And it certainly does not have to be so. If we put aside our idols and return to our first love; the One who chose us not once we stopped sinning but while we were still in the depths of our own inflicted darkness and run to Him anew. If we repent of the ways we’ve added unnecessary confusion to our current times and turn from selfish ambition in humility. If we hold our deceitful tongue, do good and seek peace (1 Peter 3:10-11). Than perhaps the mindless christian tide will be turned. Then maybe the church will be as it should; a beacon of hope, a city on a hill, the salt and light of the world, marked by our love. For God’s glory and the good of mankind. Only by God's grace is it possible. Fortunately for us, grace is His specialty. So let's make it ours also. Church, don't lose your mind.

Each December we're granted a special occasion to look back and look forward. Sure, we can do this anytime of the year, as the author Lore Wilbert says "Mondays and Januarys and birthdays and Septembers. I am always searching for excuses to begin again again." Me too. But for me, nothing allows such excuse than Christmas. It's hopeful and reflective nature gives perfect opportunity for rumination about what has been and what could be. What did I learn this year? What do I hope for the year at my doorstep? That kind of thing. Although I'm not an optimistic person by nature, I enjoy looking forward to what's ahead, all while keeping my eyes fixed on the rearview mirror of the past. And this past year has given us all lots to mull over, hasn't it? I have to say, this time around, reflecting seems strange because every part of it's "unprecedented"-ness still feels ever so present. With the many shut-downs my calendar has been scant but my physche has been stocked. Stocked with a lot of things. But most consistently - weariness. It's been a dark year in many ways, but there is no need to recount all the ways it was dark. We all know. We're still in it. The weariness is still present. This year of testing isn't over yet and although the memes about kicking 2020 in the butt as it leaves are starting to make their rounds, the realities of this year will most certainly bleed into the next. Nothing particularly special will happen when the clock strikes 12pm on January 1st, 2021. We will still wake up in the morning to a pandemic and all its many complications. However with Christmas, in comes that special opportunity. For me, one of the most staggering verses in the whole Bible is Luke 1:49a, "For he who is mighty has done great things for me." This comes from the song (magnificat) sung by Mary the mother of Jesus. She didn't sing it after Jesus was born but while he was still nestled inside her belly. She didn't utter it after he died and rose again. Nor did she recite it after reflecting on his transfiguration. No - in the midst of her unprecedented predicament - being young, unwed, pregnant and Jewish - she sang these hopeful words. The Lord had done great things for her. And she new it while darkness was all around her. This is what Christmas does. It reminds us of what we so desperately need to remember. In the darkness, in the suffering, in the relentless ache of weariness - He who is mighty has done great things for me. And for you. As he did for Mary. Tim Keller in his book Hidden Christmas says... "Christmas shows you a God unlike the god of any other faith. Have you been betrayed? Have you been lonely? Have you been destitute? Have you faced death? So had he! Some say, "You don't understand. I have prayed to God for things, and God ignored my prayer." In the garden of Gethsemane Jesus cried out, "Father...may this cup be taken from me" (Matthew 23:39) and he was turned down. Jesus knows the pain of unanswered prayer. Some say, "I feel like God has abandoned me." What do you think Jesus was saying on the cross when he said, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me" (Matthew 27:46)? What does this mean? The very act of the incarnation was for more than our salvation. It was for our comfort. Knowing in the midst of our very present struggle that we have a God who knows it personally gives a kind of relief we otherwise couldn't have. Christmas comes around each year to remind us that no other god does this kind of thing. No other god not only wants to rescue us but also relate directly to mere mortal pain. This is absolutely unheard of in any other religion and it's the reason Christmas is so absurdly wonderful. The faith of a lowly, young virgin, is the the faith all mankind is called to embody. The faith that gave her the courage to say, "let it be to me according to your word" knowing full-well that word would put her life in danger. The light came down into a dark place. And we continue to feel its ever-present darkness. If this year has taught us anything, it is the unpredictability of the world around us. Yet however unstable you may have felt, Christmas is here to stabilize any residual fear. Take comfort - the Saviour knows all too well, what you've been through. Which means it's time to rest. Rest and sing. As the Christmas hymn It Came Upon A Midnight Clear says... All ye beneath life's crushing load Whose forms are bending low Who toil along the climbing way With painful steps and slow Look now for glad and golden hours Come swiftly on the wing O rest beside the weary road And hear the angels sing The light of the world has done great things for me and for you. Even this year. And no matter what happens next year, the same will be true then. Mary is singing. The angels are singing. Let's sing with them.

These are outrageous times; prone to invoke rage. I recently had a friend post a picture of a news article on facebook. She was outraged by the article and was calling for a boycott. This is what the article said “Bibles Pulled from Barnes and Noble for the outdated idea that all humans are made in the image of God”. My friend was rallying the Christian troops to arm up and take on this terrible injustice. She was so angry. She was also deceived. Because what she didn’t realize is that she was posting a popular Christian satirical website called Babylon Bee and the story wasn’t true. Not that it matters that much, but Barnes and Noble are still selling Bibles. Could we be in anymore confusing times? Technically yes. If you know anything about history, this isn’t actually that unprecedented. Although, there is technology. And that new bit of invention has made what we’re all experiencing now in 2020 very unique. Nothing is new to the Lord, but a lot is new for us. However, as Christians we have a special responsibility in this moment. In the midst of the confusion it is our duty to be calm and reasonable. And in order to do that we need a lot of wisdom. Wisdom like Proverbs 16:23-24, that says… The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips. Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. What we learn in this text is that wise people win others by speaking sweetly and seeking to learn. Foolish people are plenty with their words but they kill the soul. Wisdom isn’t wisdom when it doesn’t shut up and it never gives life. As a culture, we really value the kind of wisdom that looks a lot like winning a debate. (Don’t get me wrong, there is time for debate.) But what wisdom actually looks like is, being teachable slow to speak, kind in speech, not fighting back, refraining from responding and not getting the last word in. That’s what wisdom looks like. And that could not be more antithetical to our world today. As Christians there are so many things to be angry about when we look at society today. And you may be feeling the tension in your spirit now. But, I think we can all agree that shouting the loudest is not the answer. One of the most common ancient uses of honey was to heal wounds and soothe pain. Gracious words can do that. They can heal and soothe. And they can also mend, restore, console and relieve the pain inside another person. Our words are powerful and they can build up or tear down. So what are your words doing? Here’s another Proverb to help us. Proverbs 16:32-33 says… Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. The lot is cast into the lap, but it’s every decision is from the Lord. In other words, being patient with others proves our trust in the Lord. We can say all we want that we trust God. But we prove it by how we respond to our own anger. When this was written, military prowess was held in the highest regard. Someone who is mighty would look like a person that can take back a city, who can raise the loudest cry and be the the most powerful. But the exact opposite is true. Those who know how to rule their own spirit (their own anger) are the true mighty ones. The person that has no control over their anger is not the strong one but the weak one. He is the captive not the conquerer. Ray Ortlund says, “Conquering a city is child’s play compared with ruling the turbulent, demanding, upset world inside us. The one is only the battle of a day. The other is the conflict of a lifetime.” So who are we most concerned about conquering? Everyone around us? Society? Or our own wayward spirit? Verse 33 is the antidote to all of this. Because when we trust God, there is no need to burn hot with anger, or lash out or try to take control back. We cast the lot of our prayers into the ears of the Lord and then we let Him have His way. And trust that His way is better than ours. Of course, the best example of this wisdom is in Christ. 1 Peter 2:23 says, When Christ was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. Let that sink in. Of all the righteous scenarios to fight back in the history of the world, that would be the one! And yet, Jesus went to the cross as meek as they come. He was led to be slaughtered, having done nothing wrong and what did he do? He calmed his tongue and trusted the Lord. Perfect humility unto death. How different we respond when we are mildly inconvenienced or when we see something we don’t like. We can justify our anger up and down. But for Christ. What does this mean? Before we hit send on our outrage, we must think about Christ. His willingness to mute his anger when his own rights were taken from Him, ought to speak very loudly when we find ourselves outraged when minor comforts are taken from us. With this in mind, let’s adjust ourselves to the times we’re in with wisdom by putting on the humility of Christ. When anger arises, may we conquer it with a deep trust in the Lord’s will. In these confusing times, let’s not jump to unreasonable irritability towards everyone around us. But instead be a calm presence of grace. Being quick to listen and slow to anger. And let’s win a watching world by letting only honey spill out of our mouths

This morning whatever wheels that were keeping our quarantine homeschooling moving forward effectively fell off. And the cart crashed. And went up in flames. Smoke is still rising. Yesterday began week 4 of this new form of school and week 6 of isolation, so I suppose a collision was inevitable. And it seems far from recovery even now, much later in the day. Many memes, gifs and texts (with way too many poop emoji’s) have been shared with friends as weird therapy to get through this surreal reality we’re all together but separately enduring. “How many more walls will be hit?” we jointly yet independently wonder, as we take each day at a time, telling ourselves it won’t last forever. In unison, yet very much apart from each other, we are experiencing this thing. Sure, some are suffering more, either from the virus or death, pain or loneliness, job-loss or financial burdens, marital trouble or parenting upheavals…all of the above. And some are mostly unaffected, going to jobs and managing home as usual, just with more lines in the grocery store and less toilet paper access. Others have taken to conspiracy theories for answers. Digging deep into the mire of the internet to find meaning in wild ideas and stories of maniacle corruption – breeding discontent and hate for authority. Wherever you find yourself on this scale, we are united in this. All of us turn on the news at night or in the morning and hear the same information about the latest news and all of us go to bed at night wondering what kind of future awaits us. And there’s anxiety. And confusion. And fear. A lot of platitudes go around when things like this happen. They’re meant to bring us together and make us feel part of the solution to this big problem. Covid 19’s catch phrase is “We’re all in this together”. Six feet apart but definitely together. And we are in this together, because all of us need to abide by the rules so that this whole thing can finally end. It’s a joint effort. And it’s nice to see the hearts on people’s windows (we have them) and hear the 7pm cheers for medical workers. All of it is touching and sweet and there is nothing wrong with that. It’s just that platitudes don’t take the anxiety away. It might act as temporary relief from the reality we find ourselves in. Much like the memes and gifs that are passed around. They take the edge off. It’s just that the edge always comes back. Particularly when you’re trying to sleep. Or when you wake up at night for the forth time. Or when you open your eyes in the morning to embark on a day that you know will be identical to the last 40 days. It’s in those moments that pithy statements lose any ability to relieve stress, confusion or fear. We are still in the middle of something none of us have ever experienced before and there is no way out of it. We have to keep waking up and doing the same thing. And if you’re anything like me, you find yourself twitchy by the end of the day because of it. But I’m twitchy because I’ve noticed something in me. I’ve recognized something terrible. The folly of my own heart – how small my understanding is. I say I’m not afraid, particularly in conversation with other christians (because that’s the proper answer to give). However, that’s not true. No, I’m not frantic, or panicked, or racing from store to store stockpiling items for the apocalypse. But I am twitchy. I am getting less patient with my children. At times I give into confusion and wish things were back to the way they were. I’ve experienced grief over all the losses this season has brought. Feeling all of these things isn’t wrong. We need to feel it in order to get through it. However if I’m being honest, every one of these emotions has been brought on by an underlining feeling of what I’ve been denying – fear. I’m afraid life won’t be the same when this is all done and I won’t have all the little luxuries of life I’m used to (as gross as that is to admit). I’m nervous that things will be different forever and that the world my kids grow up in will be even scarier and more ominous than I already felt like it was. I’m concerned that the wheels on the school cart will never be put back on and the smoke that’s rising will continue to billow for weeks to come. And what of church and gatherings of friends and concerts and sports and and and…? What I realize now is that I’ve been fearing the wrong thing. Consider the very strong language of Isaiah 8:11-13. In this text, Judah and Jerusalem were stressed about a crisis over land wars, and amidst that fear God gave Isaiah this provocative message. For the Lord spoke thus to me with his strong hand upon me, and warned me not to walk in the way of this people, saying: “Do not call conspiracy all that this people calls conspiracy, and do not fear what they fear, nor be in dread. But the Lord of hosts, him you shall honor as holy. Let him be your fear, and let him be your dread. My fear is misplaced. And the fear you’ve been denying may be as well. How tempting it is to try and solve problems with conspiracies or to fear everything everyone else is fearing. When, who should we really fear? This text is clear – the God who ordains illness and causes storms and allows tribulation. Fear GOD. But how is that comforting? You may wonder. It comforts because He is also the one that heals the sick, and calms the waves and He’s the only one who can inject joy into affliction. He also calls us to pray – which means the sovereign God of the universe wants US to talk to HIM. To call on his name and walk in this unknown with him securely by our side. He longs for His people to return from wandering in self-centred ways and embrace His will that is better than ours. Fear Him. We aren’t called to be skippy, twitchy Christians who spout platitudes or spin conspiracies in order to feel better or more in control of the situation. We are meant to fear God and in doing so, perhaps we too will be able to truly echo Paul’s words when he said, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength”. (Philippians 4:12-13) This is our call. When homeschool is a fail and marital fights break out and confusion about finances are the daily battle – console your bewildered heart with the holy God. Honor Him by setting Him above it all. Find your strength for the day, not in your own wisdom or weak understanding, but in the fear of the holy God. The One who gives and takes away. Reorient your fear and find comfort there.